Time has felt like a luxury lately. There never seems to be enough of it. Whether it’s poor time management on my part or just not enough hours in the day, I’m still figuring it out. But more and more it seems that as my priorities shift so does what I say yes to doing.
I’ve always strived to be a woman of my word. When I say yes to something, I want someone to know they can count on me. I want them to know that I am committed to showing up. And I know we all have that friend that constantly flakes on us. I like to call them my croissant friends because you know they are as flaky as a croissant. If you think about it long enough, I’m sure you’ve already mentally identified the friend in your life. They say yes rather quickly to things but when time comes around they back out.
I’ll admit I’ve been that friend in the past. If I’m honest, I’ve probably been that friend in the last few months. I say yes with the best of intentions but if I’m honest about what I want or how much is on my to do list I probably should have said no.
So how do we break the cycle? How do we make our yes mean yes and our no mean no? I think there are a few things we have to identify first.
Is this a priority to me?
My best friends will tell you that I say this weekly. If someone or something is a priority to you, you’ll make time for it. Lately, my whole heart and soul has been this blog & youtube. It’s become a place of solace and focus in my life. It is a priority. And I’m more than willing to move things around to make it work. If something is a priority to you, you’ll make it happen. If not, you’ll make excuses.
Over the years, I’ve found the people that are most successful at accomplishing their goals just go for it. They make it happen. They find a way. If spending time with your friend from out of town is a priority for you, you’ll sacrifice the sleep to see them at an odd hour. If getting healthy is a goal for you, then you’ll be willing to make the lifestyle changes to make it happen. You will find a way.
What kind of commitment comes with it?
I’ve been playing piano since I was a young girl. And occasionally, I play for my church band. This means that some times mom’s will hear me play and ask if I teach. Almost always, I kindly tell them no. If you’re one of those mom’s and you’re reading this, I hope you’ll understand why now. It’s a serious time commitment.
Look at how much time is required behind your yes. Being a boss lady in any ways means that your time is precious. And sure, you may have the extra spare time right now. But what does it mean to say yes to this 3 months from now? Teaching kids means they need regular lessons. They need consistent learning and guidance. My schedule is too unpredictable and I also prefer to have as much flexibility available as possible. So before you say yes, consider what saying yes means to future you. And is future you going to want to punch past you in the face for saying yes to this commitment?
Am I being honest with myself?
I’m a big fan of listening to your gut. There is just that inner sense that guides you to knowing things. For me, it’s an inner peace. But I also struggle with wanting to do things quickly and making decisions rapidly. Patience is not my strongest virtue. So instead of taking the time to really listen to my gut, I’ll ignore it because I feel like I need to address the issue right then.
This gets me in trouble on occasion. Some times I’m smart and I catch the mistake early enough or book the travel insurance to cover my trip. However, I find that when I don’t stop to acknowledge what I’m feeling. When I don’t stop to acknowledge that I really need to say no to something, I end up being the flaky friend. Time will come to own up to my yes and I’ll feel overwhelmed knowing I should have said no. Be honest with yourself.
Will it add value to your life?
If you haven’t heard me rave enough about Superwoman Rx yet let me remind you again. Besides being obsessed with the book, it has been so instrumental in helping me stay balanced these last two months. I’m both a creative and boss gal. Or as Dr. Taz would say I’m a savvy chick. And I’ve realized that I have to feed both sides me to stay balanced. There are certain things I know will add value to my life. Spending time with friends, reading a book or taking an afternoon walk all help keep me a balanced creative boss lady. If you’re really struggling to decide, ask yourself if whatever is it will add value into your life.
Saying no is just as important as saying yes.
The older I get the more I’ve gotten to know myself. Makes sense right? But I’ve also gotten to know what I want and don’t want. I’m less afraid to say no to things. I would love to be someone who could say yes to everything. Yet I know I can’t do it all. And I don’t really want to anymore. Saying no to something because you really need the time to rest or maybe you can’t financially afford something is okay. You are allowed to say no to things. You have to life with you and the decisions you make.
Whether or not you’re the world’s most reliable or flakiest person, I hope you’ll find a way to make the best of your yes. And if you’re working to break the cycle, just remember that your yes is as important as your no. You have the power to make them mean something. Why not start today?